Sunday, March 11, 2012


You have no idea how many posts I start and barely get into for a sentence before I get caught up needing to do something else and then don't finish them. Life has been crazy lately and shows no signs of letting up anytime soon.

In good news, the new baby looks healthy and happy in the womb. No major concerns, it's another girl, so Ramona will get a "baby stitster" which I am pretty excited about. I have been in insane nesting mode, evident by the fact that my house is actually clean on a regular basis, which almost never happens. I've been tackling a lot of projects to get things ready for the baby, and am getting close to done with them even though I'm only 27 weeks pregnant. So, yay for me, I guess.

In annoying news, Joe's union voted to strike today, so sometime in the next couple of weeks we will have no income from him. Hopefully it doesn't last long, but who knows? I also suggest not bleeding a lot in the near future if you live in the Toledo area. I'm not really sure how it will play out, but I guess we just wait and see.

School is really killing me lately. There's so much to do and so little time to do it. Joe works weekends (well, maybe this strike will give me more study time!) and my classes this semester are very involved and require a lot of work. The one is also really manufacturing based, which I don't have a lot of personal experience with, so it makes it harder because I'm learning a lot of the concepts for the first time. Anyway, it's frustrating because it leads to nights like tonight, where I had a thirty minute timed quiz to take, and Ramona decided to throw a tantrum in the middle of it. So I just had to throw her in her crib for a few minutes so I could get the work done and she was screaming the whole time and took off her diaper and peed everywhere. Then I heard her saying "whooooa whoooa whoooa!" and I correctly deduced that she was attempting to climb out of the crib and was going to hurt herself, so I went and grabbed her back out of the crib. So then I had a crying toddler on my lap while attempted to finish the quiz, which I completed, but I did really poorly and the whole thing is annoying and makes me feel like a bad student and a bad mom.

Ramona then told me she loves me and fell asleep. So I'm writing this with a cute little toddler with a still tear-streaked face, who is still not wearing a diaper, snoring on my lap. Can you blame me for looking at blogs of stay-at-home moms with no schoolwork and thinking, "hmm, that must be nice?" It's just been really rough lately. I feel like I'm doing a million things and all of them poorly. I have a B+ in both of my classes right now, which annoys me because I could do better but I just don't have time. Then when I take Ramona out to play, I feel like I'm wasting time that I could be doing school work, but if I do my school work I feel like I'm neglecting her. I've been trying to make sure Joe and I get to talk to one another on occasion, but it's just not as much as would be nice.

So, I think what I really need to do is sit down and plan my time better so that I don't feel guilty about how my time is used. I also need to plan what I'm eating, because I've been eating like crap lately and am going to gain a million pounds this pregnancy if I don't do something about it. And I need to figure out what we're going to do financially to weather out this strike.

But, I did get to go shopping with my mom today and my in-laws took Ramona for part of yesterday, so I got to breathe and chill out for a minute during this week (which was spring break, so I really needed to relax for a minute). I think I'm just freaking myself out because things are so hard right now and we're going to throw a newborn into the mix in a few months. I know we'll make it through and be fine, because things always work out, but it's been really stressful lately. I was handling everything fine until two weeks ago and then it all seemed to fall apart. And I think the problem was that I was able to do everything and ignore myself for a couple of months, but I eventually hit a wall where I needed to take a little time for me, and there was not enough time in my schedule to accommodate that so it all blew up. So, I'm hoping a little planning will help me get it sorted out so everything fits together again.