Tuesday, September 28, 2010
When I got home from work I was in a bad mood. Joe, being the awesome guy in the universe, offered to get pizza and some beers to cheer me up. When he got back, we ate pizza, and I let Ramona have a few bites. Then she saw the little containers of cheese and peppers. She always grabs them and makes a huge mess and it's really obnoxious. So, as soon as I saw her grabbing for them, I said, "Ramona. No!" She looked at me then grabbed for one anyway. I took it out of her hand and said, "No," again. She started crying. I said, "Sorry, kid. You don't get to fake cry and then get whatever you want. That's not how it works." She tried again and I said no again. Her cry turned into a squeal and her face turned red and tear started streaming down her face. I gave her some pizza and she stopped crying. Every time she made eye contact with me for the next few minutes she would start crying again.
So I picked her up and kissed her and told her I love her and that I'm not mad at her, but when I say no, she has to stop. I set her down and we were done. Then we ate pizza together and she was fine. But it was the first of what I fear will be many meltdowns. I had a pretty big temper when I was a kid. I mellowed out as I got older, and I think I'm fairly laid back now, but I used to be able to kick and scream and rip out my hair with the best of them. Unfortunately, it looks like she takes after me with that.
The weird part is being on the other side of it. As the adult, I kind of felt bad. I know better than to give into her, and don't intend to do so because she needs to learn to behave correctly and respect authority, but it's pretty hard to see her get so upset and not do anything about it. I guess all I can do is help her learn how to deal with her emotions and make sure she knows I am not going to be manipulated by some tears and a pouty lip.
Monday, September 27, 2010
This morning Mony and I played in the bedroom until 9:30, when we woke up Joe. He made us breakfast and then we all went swimming. Ramona has been a super splasher in the bathtub lately, so she was enjoying the pool a lot today. Then we came home and ate food and played some more. Joe went to work and Ramona and I went for three different walks tonight. The last one ended at the playground where she had a blast on the swings. Then we came home and played on the floor. She thought my peek a boo was hilarious tonight.
It was one of those weekends that made me wish I could be a stay at home mom. I never thought I would be one or want to be one, but sometimes I just wish I could spend all my time with her. Of course I love having a job and making my own money, so I know I would miss that a lot if I were to stay home. But days like today make it really hard to know I have to wake up and go into that office tomorrow. Who couldn't use more Ramona giggles in their day? Of course, I'm glad that Joe and I both have jobs and can provide a stable comfortable life for her. And even better, she spends all her time with at least one of us. But some days I like to dream of Joe winning the lottery and us all spending all our time together. Today was one of those days.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
How Do Dinosaurs Laugh Out Loud?
How Do Dinosaurs Count to Ten?
How Do Dinosaurs Play with Their Friends?
How Do Dinosaurs Learn Their Colors?
How Do Dinosaurs Love Their Dogs?
Amazon had a 4 for 3 deal right now that I didn't even know about until I checked out. Good deal! I wasn't sure about Love Their Dogs since we don't have one, but I figure she'll probably go to Aunt Kathleen's house and play with Lucy when she's bigger, so she'll still have a dog that she plays with. I'm ready to birthday it up!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Leapfrog Learn & Groove Musical Table
Melissa & Doug Deluxe Fish Bowl Jumbo Knob Puzzle
Manhattan Toy Feeding Set for Baby Stella
Fisher-Price Corn Popper Push Toy
Playskool Step Start Walk n Ride
Fisher-Price Sesame Street Silly Sounds Remote
Melissa & Doug Deluxe Bug Jug Fill & Spill Soft Baby Toy
Fisher-Price The Farmer Says
Manhattan Toy Baby Stella Doll
I'll probably get a couple books, too. Possibly some clothes, but the grandmas are pretty good at keeping her clothed, so I'm not too worried about that. I was unsure about the doll. She isn't really to that stage of play yet, but I imagine she will be within the next year. Joe found the toy remote control, which I think might end up being a favorite since she LOVES the TV remote. We have to take out the batteries so she can play with it without totally screwing up the TV. Today I spent a good ten minutes trying to figure out how to get rid of screen within a screen. I didn't even know the TV had that feature, but Ramona somehow got it to work. So, we had Wonder Pets with Hollywood Murders until I figured out how to turn it off. Definitely a fun juxtaposition.
The birthday is rapidly approaching. I can't believe it's almost a whole year since the day we drove to the hospital half-way not believing we would return home as parents. It's strange to think that a year ago I didn't know Ramona at all, I just knew the constantly kicking and hiccuping mass in my belly that I already called Ramona in my head and when I talked about her to Joe. I had no idea that she would have such beautiful blue eyes or such a charming smile or crazy laugh. It's hard to remember not knowing her. It seems like another life altogether.
I was watching Teen Mom the other day. For those who don't watch it, it follows some girls who got pregnant in high school. One of the girls gave up her daughter for adoption because she had an unstable home environment and didn't want her daughter to grow up the same way. Watching the episodes involving the issues with her mom and step dad really shows how mature a decision it was. Her step dad is currently in court ordered rehab and her mom is upset about it and takes it out on her daughter.
In a recent episode, her mom went shopping for a prom dress with her. The mom got mad at her because she liked a dress that her mom didn't like (for no real reason except she said it was ugly.) Then the mom totally started acting like a teenager, complete with eye rolling and sarcasm, and then actually told her daughter, "F--- you, Catelynn!" This was all in front of her friend who went shopping with them. Then, the daughter went out with her boyfriend to get his tux and her mom called her and said that she owed her gas money for taking her dress shopping.
I guess my point is that while everyone is annoyed by their children every once in awhile, you shouldn't actually hate them. I thought that goes without saying, but maybe not. The world can be a sad place. It makes me want to show Ramona how happy it can be as much as possible.
Friday, September 24, 2010
So I read the directions, and last night gave her one. You're supposed to do 2-3, but I figured I'd just do one and see how it goes. The directions indicated you were supposed to hold it under your tongue until it dissolves. How they expect you to relay this information to a baby is beyond me. I kind of let it dissolve on her tongue. We tried this right before bed.
Then the craziest, totally most unexpected thing happened. Ramona slept through the night. She hasn't done that since she was four months old. She went to bed at 8pm and woke up at 6:30am. I was thrilled. I slept until Joe got home from work and was climbing into bed (around 2am.) Usually by that point Ramona has woken up at least two times and is in bed with me. He was actually confused as to where she was. I think he thought she rolled out of bed or something. He whispered, "Where is she?" and I answered, "She's still asleep!" while thinking Shut up, don't ruin it! But she managed to sleep through Daddy getting home from work. That never happens. Joe and I actually got to cuddle together in bed. And sleep! Uninterrupted!
So, was it the teething tablet? Was it just coincidence? I don't know. But you can bet your ass I gave her one before bed tonight.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
I was really not looking forward to this conference at all. I was sure we would learn stuff that had nothing to do with me, and that we'd have to play stupid team building games and do all that stuff that is so awkward that no one enjoys but they always make you do for some reason. Luckily, I was completely wrong. First of all, there was free beer. Honestly, they could have just sent out a memo in March that said, "Free Beer at the Controllers' Conference!" and I wouldn't have spent the year dreading it. I drank enough to get socially lubricated and met a bunch of people from all of our company's other properties. Everyone was nice (some were a little strange, but in a fun way) and I had a nice time. The sessions were informative and I learned a lot. And there was a lot of free food, little gifts, and just all around pleasantness. I missed Joe and Ramona but we talked on the phone every night. Also, did I mention that I got to sleep through the night, all alone with no one biting my nipple or kicking me in the stomach? That was definitely worth the whole trip.
But seriously, I did miss them a lot. We took the train up to the Canyon for the conference on Tuesday (in the dome car which was SOOO cool and comfy!) and one of the entertainers came up to sing for us and he did "What a Wonderful World". I admit I got a little teary eyed when he sang the part about seeing babies smile and watching them grow. So luckily, I got to see Joe and Ramona during my breaks when we were up there. There was a picnic lunch at Shoshone Point, which I had never been to, and it was really gorgeous. There were some more sessions, and we got a nice dinner at the El Tovar along with a couple more beers, so it was a nice time. We bussed back down to Williams and I went right to sleep. Wednesday was the big accounting game. Our team lost, but it was actually fun and a good time was had by all. After that we did a tour of the train shop and got to see where the work on the trains and we got to go up in the engine part of the car and look around. I really want to take Ramona on the train when they do Polar Express at Christmas time in a couple of years. They use the old timey cars and everyone wears their pajamas and they have hot chocolate and cookies and read the story and then you get to "the North Pole" (an area with Christmas lights where Santa gets on) and then Santa meets all the kids and gives them sleigh bells to take home. It's a really cute idea and I think it would be really fun for a kid at the right age.
After the train shop tour the conference was over so Joe and Ramona picked me up. I got a Christmas ornament with the Railway on it and got Ramona a toy train. Then we went to Flagstaff to get lunch. They opened a new brewery since the last time we were there, so we checked it out. It was called the Lumberyard. The food was pretty good and we did a sampler of the beers and there were a couple of really nice ones. It's owned by the same people who run Beaver Street Brewery, but the feel and menu are really different. After lunch we walked around the shops a little bit and then started the long journey home. We got back around ten and got some sleep. Today was work and playing with my Baby Fish. I missed her so much, but I'm so glad she got to see our old friends and have some time to bond with Joe. And of course, nothing beats that, "OMG! It's MOMMY!" smile she had when they picked me up on Wednesday.
In Mony news, her ninth tooth popped out, so she officially has a molar, and her next three are poised to break through at any time. She is now eleven months old, meaning I have less than a month before my little baby is a year old. It has been the fastest year of my life by far. She's grown and changed so much. Then again, so have I.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
My mom is usually calm and has been described as the "nicest person I've ever met" by several of my friends. But there are a few times I remember her being really pissed off when we were kids. The most notable in my mind was one time my brother and I were in the car and were just being obnoxious kids and poking each other and whining about how the other person was on our side of the car, blah blah, stupid annoying kid stuff. It definitely wasn't the only time we'd ever acted like that, but for some reason my mom was really mad about it that particular day. She gave us a bunch of warnings to cut it out that we ignored and she finally pulled over the car and gave us both a smack on the cheek. I should point out that my parents were in no way abusive. We did get little smacks or spankings occasionally, but they were the kind that didn't hurt and were more to get our attention than to actually hurt us. When they did, they were usually very calm about it. This is the only time I can remember my mom actually being mad when she did it, which is why I think it sticks out in my memory. Anyway, we obviously shut up then, and my mom chilled out and everything was fine. But, I think that was probably one of my own mother's "I hate my kids" moments. If she had 'em, I feel okay having them.
What is most notable to me between my moment, Cory's moment, and my mom's moment is that our children's behavior was not really any worse than usual. James and I were pretty obnoxious on a regular basis as children. We would fight until Mom would separate us and then we'd spend the entire time we were separated trying to secretly play together. It was an every day event. Ramona has never been a great sleeper and I get up with her every night. Cory's son (just guessing) has probably been that annoying or more so another day and she probably didn't get upset about it. But in all those cases, us, as moms, were in a bad mood outside of anything to do with our children, which made it difficult to deal with the problems they presented. I don't remember why my mom was in a bad mood, but she had definitely run out of patience before we even got in the car that day. I was completely exhausted when Ramona wouldn't sleep. Cory had just gotten off of an extra long crappy day of work.
The hating is not about them, it's about us. Those are the hardest times to be a parent. Those days when, before kids were in the picture, you would have just taken a nap, or vegged out and relaxed, or had some beers and been back to yourself in an hour are so rough. Because it's not as simple as it used to be to take a break and get over yourself. Those times when we hate them are the times that we show our love for them the most. Because if we didn't love them, we would just toss them in a dumpster and head to the bar. Instead, we just think about it. What a wonderful way to show we really love them.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
She is such a terrible sleeper, and I often wonder if it's partially my fault. First, there's the sleeping in the swing thing. Then, I let her sleep in bed with me all the time. She really almost never sleeps in her crib anymore. It's used more as a play place than anything else. So I feel guilty about it and think that if only I did sleep training or let her cry it out, or at least didn't let her sleep in bed with me, she might be a better sleeper. But then I read Dr Sears, and he says that nursing babies to sleep and expecting them to wake up at night is totally normal, and that babies will sleep better as they get older and there's nothing wrong with them getting up at night. And I think maybe it's ok and I should just enjoy her being little enough to enjoy cuddling with her mommy.
It's one of those parenting things where people are so sharply divided, and they get so crazy about it, that you can't even get honest advice on it. Non cry it out people act like you are a terrible neglectful parent and your child will suffer horrible psychological repercussions if you let your child cry it out or attempt sleep training. Cry it out people act like you're coddling your child and they'll still be sleeping in your bed when they graduate high school if you don't get to it now. What should I do? I really am not sure. I'd prefer she sleep in her own crib and sleep all night. But, honestly, it doesn't really bother me that much when she sleeps in bed with me and gets up a couple of times (more than a couple makes me crazy, but she hasn't had that since she cut her last tooth.) I know I do it this way because I'm lazy and don't like hearing her cry. Is that good or bad? I'm not really sure.
All I know is that it probably isn't good for Joe next week. Poor guy.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Has a stinky stinky stinky butt
She's a pooper
And she smells nasty
Stinky Stinky Stinky Stinky butt
Brilliant, eh? I have a few classics that I have sung to Ramona for a long time and they are all pretty much the same. They have a familiar beat and ridiculous lyrics. Such as...
Ramona has got a tummy drum
Mommy has got a- TUMMY DRUM!
We've done that one since she was a newborn. I (surprise!) use our tummies as drums during the song. She finds it quite hilarious. Another classic is:
I've got a little bitty
And of course the biggest one (and probably the reason Lars ran away) is this hit:
If I had
Just one wish
It would be for my Ramona Fish
If I had
It would be for her Daddy Fish
If I had
A wish after that
It would be for our Danzig Cat
And if my wishes
Went that far
I guess I'd have to wish for Lars
I'm guessing Lars was mad that she was the last wish and that's why she ran away. In my defense, she would have higher billing if she hadn't peed on my stuff all the time.
I also do songs based on other songs. The biggest hit in that regard is probably, "Don't Bite your Mommy" which is based on "Don't Bite your Friends" from Yo Gabba Gabba! Joe's mom commented that she looked hypnotized when I would sing it during their visit.
I think the last major one is probably the one based on the Spider Man song:
Does whatever a baby fish does
Is she a baby?
Yes she is!
Is she a fish?
Not so much!
Look Out! Here comes the baby fish!
Joe and I always talk about how we need to start a band together. Our first idea for a band was to be called Especially Heinous and all our songs would be about Law & Order SVU. I actually wrote a couple of songs for that, which were mostly about how hot I think Stabler is. Our other plan was for me to start an indie girl type thing, where I would play acoustic guitar and sing slightly off-key while Joe played something stupid (possibly an empty coffee can with some beans in it that he could drum or shake). This plan was mostly to make a ton of money in advertising by selling my songs for commercials since that kind of music seems so popular for that. Neither of us actually like that kind of thing, but the people at Kindle don't know that.
However, based on the positive reinforcement I've received from Ramona, I'm thinking my true calling may be children's music. There probably isn't as much money, but I might be able to guest on Blue's Clues or Sesame Street. And I can't be any worse than the Fresh Beat Band.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
After Ramona's nap we took our food over to our neighbor's house to watch the Ohio State game. We had a couple beers and ate and Ramona was all over the place. She was pretty well behaved but she did knock over some stuff and was being a typical over active baby. There was another baby there that was a couple months older than her, so I was hoping for some cute interaction, but they pretty much ignored each other except for a five minute stretch where the kept crawling on each other and trying to take each other's sippy cups.
Today we ate leftovers and just enjoyed spending time together. We should have cleaned the house but we watched TV and went to the park. The playground equipment was too hot for Ramona to play on so we just laid around on the grass.
So nothing too exciting but it made me happy. Next weekend will be eventful. We're going to Vegas to buy Mony a new big girl car seat and then going on to Arizona. I have a conference for work in Williams and Joe and Ramona are staying up at the Grand Canyon so they can visit with our friends up there. I'm excited for everyone to see Ramona. They haven't seen her since she was four months old and she has so much more personality (and Stu wasn't even there last time we went so he hasn't seen her at all.) I'm hoping the conference isn't as boring and terrible as I've been building it up to be in my mind, but either way I won't be here, so I guess that's always a bonus. It will be the first time I've spent the night away from Ramona. On one hand I'm looking forward to sleeping through the night for the first time in a year, on the other I'm going to miss her so badly! I'm also going to have to pump milk while I'm gone which I hate doing. Oh well. I'm mostly looking forward to it.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
I went to bed early to try to get over this crappy feeling but couldn't sleep. Today I was just as tired. When I got home from work I left Ramona in the living room watching Blue's Clues so I could go to the bathroom. I came back and she was naked, chewing on her diaper, sitting next to a log of poo. Gross. This is why she can't be left in just a diaper anymore. Why wait for mommy to take off your poopy diaper when you can do it yourself? Bathtime, jammies, a freshly scrubbed carpet and here we are. I'm hoping she goes to bed easily tonight. I don't have the energy to fight her.
I need a cookie. And a beer.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Yesterday we went to Pahrump and ate at the Thai place. I'm kind of falling in love with it. We went there a couple weeks ago for the first time on the recommendation of one of the guys Joe works with (whose girlfriend is Thai.) It was awesome so we went back again this week. Ramona was kind of obnoxious there, but not melt down crazy. She was just upset about having to be in a high chair, which she's been pulling a lot at home lately, too. Although at home I thought it was just because we only have a Bumbo and not a real high chair. I guess that's not the case.
After that we went to the grocery store to get stuff to make burgers for Labor Day. Then we headed to DQ. They put in this Dairy Queen not too long ago and it is Pahrump's saving grace in my eyes. I love ice cream to a ridiculous degree. When I was pregnant with Ramona I ate an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's pretty much every day of the last two months I was pregnant. Now that I'm not pregnant I can't get away with that much ice cream, but I still eat too much, so I was psyched when they put it in. Sorry, I got side tracked about my ice cream obsession- anyway, the reason you should care about our trip to DQ is that Ramona waved at a stranger for the first time! Joe went to the bathroom and Ramona and I stood around waiting for him and Ramona was making goofy Ramona sounds. Some guy said, "You sure have a happy baby!" I was like, "Well, we just had ice cream, of course she's happy!" Then I did the usual Mom, "Say hi, Mony" that I always say when strangers comment on her, even though she's obviously not going to, but this time she WAVED. She's never done it before. She just started waving at Joe and me this week, so I hadn't actually expected her to do it. Of course, this is Pahrump, so we can put in Ramona's baby book that she waved for the first time to a 60 something year old man in a giant tie dye t-shirt who had a ZZ top beard and a face tattoo. Awesome!
We went home and played in the living room. Ramona learned something that was really cute but will probably be really annoying in the coming future which I video taped and will post tomorrow. (Oooh what a hook! Now you'll have to come back tomorrow to find out what it is!) Today, I made whoopie pies for tomorrow. I'd never made one or even had one before, but I was looking for ideas for something to bake for Labor Day on Bakerella and saw a post where she made them. They looked like Oreo cakesters to me, which I've also never had, but have been meaning to try, so I figure what the heck, I'll make those.
Ramona was really good today so I had a pretty easy time making them. She was also very helpful. I taught her the most important part of baking:
Licking the beaters! Later I was thinking I probably shouldn't have done that since there was a raw egg in the batter, especially with that salmonella scare a few weeks ago, but she's fine, so whatever. Lucky us. Anyway, after all that sugar, can you believe she didn't take a nap today? Shocking.
They turned out pretty cute. I did half with chopped nuts and mini chocolate chips and half without. I haven't tried any yet since I'm saving them for tomorrow, but they smell awesome. Joe has to work tomorrow so I'll send the extra ones with him for all the poor stiffs who have to work Labor Day.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
No clothes for Mony, no sheets on the bed. These are from a couple weeks ago but I love the expressions on her face. Her smile kills me. The second picture is just completely Ramona. That's the face I think of when I think of her. She's just absolutely delighted by life itself.
She's waving and clapping now. Not necessarily when it's appropriate, but she's catching on. I cannot believe it's September. Last year I was thinking, "This is the last month of my life I will be childless." This year I'm thinking, "I can't believe it's almost been a year."
Thursday, September 2, 2010
It’s been a minute since I updated and the reason is twofold- one, I’ve been busy with Ramona, the job hunt, and personal correspondence, and two, I hadn’t actually gotten up to start my C25k program yet and I felt like a loser since I said I would do it. So I’m back because I actually have some time tonight and I actually got up and ran this morning.
My lack of running this week wasn’t so much laziness as much as it was bad circumstances. The hardest part of this morning workout routine is fitting Ramona into the equation. I don’t want to use an alarm because my goal is to NOT wake her up when I get up to leave. This means I sometimes sleep in too late to have time to work out and get a shower and breakfast and all those good things in before work. (That was Tuesday.) Sometimes, Ramona wakes up when I do and wants to nurse, meaning I can’t go anywhere because she’s attached. I could just give her a bottle but I feel guilty leaving her with Joe when she’s awake because he already gets limited sleep. I know he wouldn’t be mad about it, but I just don’t think it’s fair. So I stay with her. (Monday and Wednesday.)
Today the stars aligned and I was able to go. Ramona woke up around 5:45 and wanted to nurse. She did and fell asleep. I detached her and got up and went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was still asleep, so I was good to go. I had put my running clothes in the living room and threw them on quickly, stepped outside and turned on my mp3 player. I had downloaded this goofy musical podcast that lines up with the C25k program. Basically a DJ mixed some techno type music to coincide with your run and it makes a noise so you know when to run and when to walk. I had downloaded both week one and week two, but when I checked my Zune I only had week two. I figured whatever, I’ll just skip week one because it’s not that hard anyway. So I went out and did it. I’d like to say I felt awesome, but I’m so out of shape I could barely breathe during the running portions. And it wasn’t like I was out of breath, it was like I couldn’t physically get enough air in my lungs during the exercise. But, I’ve started out there before. I expected it. It will get better. And I felt great that I did it and ran looking at the vast beauty of the mountains and desert while enjoying some quiet morning solitude and thought about my life. There has certainly been a lot to think about lately and not too much time to think about it.
Anyway, I highly recommend the DJ Beatsmith podcast for the C25k. The music is forgettable and kind of crappy, but it’s good for a beat to keep you going, and the best part is that since it tells you when to switch from a running to walking interval, you aren’t staring at a stop watch or whatever to know when to switch. I think that part is usually something that discourages me. I hate keeping track of how many intervals I’ve done in my head and when I see how many seconds are left I get all worked up about it. It felt much easier when I didn’t have that going on.
So, while this week hasn’t gone as I was hoping with running, I can definitely go over the weekend and I have Monday off so I should be able to fit in two more runs of this week and start the next week (especially if I can get out Friday morning.) Also, due to my inept podcast uploading I am already a week ahead of the game!