Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Some Free Time
I've been meaning to write in here (as always) and now I have some more free time. Life has been good. I went through a big funk from the beginning of December through most of January. I don't know why, I just wasn't happy. I can name a lot things that were weighing on me (one very stressful class, the Sandy Hook shooting, exhaustion, and just general malaise) but I have finally started feeling good again.
My classes this semester are much more enjoyable. I have one online and one I actually attend and they are both interesting and require a lot of attention but aren't overwhelming. School is actually a positive thing for me the semester and I'm enjoying it. And, despite what I said when I was in the middle of my drama-fest, I will actually be happy and proud when I graduate. In fact, picturing myself in a graduation gown is pretty much my go-to motivator these days.
Some friends started a weight loss challenge and that has kept me going on my Ruby's pregnancy weight-loss goals. I was having a hard time at it and I finally realized it's because there was no accountability or competitive edge to my efforts. I am so much more productive when there is that aspect involved. (Joe was losing weight after Ramona, which is why I had so much success losing weight after her birth.) I should be back to normal by her birthday and am feeling good about it now.
The girls are really making me smile a lot. Ruby has two teeth now (and the timing on them was spot on-exact to-the-day timing as Ramona if you consider the one week difference in their gestational age versus birth.) She is SO ready to crawl and really REALLY wants to walk. She gets on all fours and rocks, but hasn't actually crawled yet. She gets around through some army crawling and a lot of rolling. It's fun to see her roll around since Ramona didn't really do that (probably because we had so little space when she was this age.) She also started waving recently. I do take pictures of her, but I feel bad because there aren't as many as I took with Ramona. Some of it is just being the second kid, but a big part of it is that I haven't had a point and shoot camera that I really love in awhile. The one Joe got me for Christmas a couple years ago is good outside, but it takes really crappy indoor pictures, which is obviously a majority of what I want to do. So I take most pics with my phone, and they are also really crappy.
Ramona is getting better at having full conversations and thinks of a lot of funny and sometimes clever things to say. For example, potty training has been a big ordeal, and she is pretty much 100% trained in the art of peeing. Pooping is another story, and we are at about 50% there (and that is probably being generous.) So, we were in the car the other day and it was smelly. I wasn't sure if it was her or Ruby, so I asked, "Ramona, did you poop in your pants?" And she responded, "Not yet!" I laughed SO HARD.
Things with Joe are good. We are quite the team these days and are doing lots of saving for a potential house purchase sometime in the hopefully near future. We do have some trips planned for the year just to make life a little more fun (a weekend in Pittsburgh to visit my brother's family and a week up in northern Michigan are in our budget at the moment.) I'd also like to take a weekend trip with just the two of us at some point, but will see how that plays out. We definitely need some time to connect and be grown-ups. (Although, that generally means we need time to be immature together- are we the only ones who mean "be irresponsible" when we say "be grown-ups away from our kids?" I've always assumed that's what most people mean, but maybe I'm wrong.)
Life is good. It's always getting better. I am happily awaiting spring so we can be outdoors and enjoying the fresh air a bit more often. I can't wait to break in the new bicycle trailer for the girls we got for Christmas. There will be picnics at the end of University Trail all summer! That's what I've been thinking about lately.
My classes this semester are much more enjoyable. I have one online and one I actually attend and they are both interesting and require a lot of attention but aren't overwhelming. School is actually a positive thing for me the semester and I'm enjoying it. And, despite what I said when I was in the middle of my drama-fest, I will actually be happy and proud when I graduate. In fact, picturing myself in a graduation gown is pretty much my go-to motivator these days.
Some friends started a weight loss challenge and that has kept me going on my Ruby's pregnancy weight-loss goals. I was having a hard time at it and I finally realized it's because there was no accountability or competitive edge to my efforts. I am so much more productive when there is that aspect involved. (Joe was losing weight after Ramona, which is why I had so much success losing weight after her birth.) I should be back to normal by her birthday and am feeling good about it now.
The girls are really making me smile a lot. Ruby has two teeth now (and the timing on them was spot on-exact to-the-day timing as Ramona if you consider the one week difference in their gestational age versus birth.) She is SO ready to crawl and really REALLY wants to walk. She gets on all fours and rocks, but hasn't actually crawled yet. She gets around through some army crawling and a lot of rolling. It's fun to see her roll around since Ramona didn't really do that (probably because we had so little space when she was this age.) She also started waving recently. I do take pictures of her, but I feel bad because there aren't as many as I took with Ramona. Some of it is just being the second kid, but a big part of it is that I haven't had a point and shoot camera that I really love in awhile. The one Joe got me for Christmas a couple years ago is good outside, but it takes really crappy indoor pictures, which is obviously a majority of what I want to do. So I take most pics with my phone, and they are also really crappy.
Ramona is getting better at having full conversations and thinks of a lot of funny and sometimes clever things to say. For example, potty training has been a big ordeal, and she is pretty much 100% trained in the art of peeing. Pooping is another story, and we are at about 50% there (and that is probably being generous.) So, we were in the car the other day and it was smelly. I wasn't sure if it was her or Ruby, so I asked, "Ramona, did you poop in your pants?" And she responded, "Not yet!" I laughed SO HARD.
Things with Joe are good. We are quite the team these days and are doing lots of saving for a potential house purchase sometime in the hopefully near future. We do have some trips planned for the year just to make life a little more fun (a weekend in Pittsburgh to visit my brother's family and a week up in northern Michigan are in our budget at the moment.) I'd also like to take a weekend trip with just the two of us at some point, but will see how that plays out. We definitely need some time to connect and be grown-ups. (Although, that generally means we need time to be immature together- are we the only ones who mean "be irresponsible" when we say "be grown-ups away from our kids?" I've always assumed that's what most people mean, but maybe I'm wrong.)
Life is good. It's always getting better. I am happily awaiting spring so we can be outdoors and enjoying the fresh air a bit more often. I can't wait to break in the new bicycle trailer for the girls we got for Christmas. There will be picnics at the end of University Trail all summer! That's what I've been thinking about lately.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
An Impatient Woman
I have a feeling the next year of my life will feel the longest. There are many things I want to happen that require patience and/or work.
I want a lot of things. I want to be DONE with my Master's degree. It is really killing me. It is so much work and I am pretty permanently unhappy about it. There was a time when I would think, "Oh I'm going to be so proud of myself when I finish! This is a million times harder than my undergrad, what with all the technical work and having kids." Now, I just think, "I want it to be over." I don't think I'll be proud of myself when I'm done, I will just be relieved it's over.
I've thought a lot about cutting down and only taking one class a semester instead of two to make myself less crazy and stressed out. But honestly, the idea of graduating in two years instead of one makes me want to kill myself. I want to be done, and dragging it out another year just doesn't feel like a real option.
We're also working on saving money and raising our credit scores so we can buy a house next year, which is equally unpleasant. I've budgeted us pretty tight until March at least to get the credit cards down to nothing and the savings up higher, so we don't have much fun money.
My job has been kind of frustrating lately. I feel like I need to throw some new energy into it and make it more exciting for myself. Just kind of make things happen instead of wait for them to happen. I need to focus and make it happen.
I feel like I don't get to spend enough time with Ruby. She goes to bed pretty soon after I get home from work. It makes me sad.
I still have 25 pounds of weight to lose from my pregnancy and I just don't have the energy to deal with it.
This post is kind of a bummer, but I've been kind of bummed out lately. Usually if I'm unhappy with my present situation, I'm scheming of a happier future one, but with things as they are right now, a happier future is probably a year away. It's hard to get excited for something that far in the future.
I just want to fast forward.
I want a lot of things. I want to be DONE with my Master's degree. It is really killing me. It is so much work and I am pretty permanently unhappy about it. There was a time when I would think, "Oh I'm going to be so proud of myself when I finish! This is a million times harder than my undergrad, what with all the technical work and having kids." Now, I just think, "I want it to be over." I don't think I'll be proud of myself when I'm done, I will just be relieved it's over.
I've thought a lot about cutting down and only taking one class a semester instead of two to make myself less crazy and stressed out. But honestly, the idea of graduating in two years instead of one makes me want to kill myself. I want to be done, and dragging it out another year just doesn't feel like a real option.
We're also working on saving money and raising our credit scores so we can buy a house next year, which is equally unpleasant. I've budgeted us pretty tight until March at least to get the credit cards down to nothing and the savings up higher, so we don't have much fun money.
My job has been kind of frustrating lately. I feel like I need to throw some new energy into it and make it more exciting for myself. Just kind of make things happen instead of wait for them to happen. I need to focus and make it happen.
I feel like I don't get to spend enough time with Ruby. She goes to bed pretty soon after I get home from work. It makes me sad.
I still have 25 pounds of weight to lose from my pregnancy and I just don't have the energy to deal with it.
This post is kind of a bummer, but I've been kind of bummed out lately. Usually if I'm unhappy with my present situation, I'm scheming of a happier future one, but with things as they are right now, a happier future is probably a year away. It's hard to get excited for something that far in the future.
I just want to fast forward.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
I Will Write More Someday. Promise.
School is just REEEEALLY killing me lately. I wake up early, pump milk, go to work, go to lunch, go back to work, pump more milk, work more, come home, make dinner, feed children, put Ruby to bed, do homework, bathe Ramona, do homework, put Ramona to bed, do homework, and go to sleep. Feed Ruby once or twice in the wee hours of the morning in sleep-walk mode. Get up and do it again. So, there is little time for things I actually enjoy in life now. Except seeing my kids be cute, of course.
Ruby is just the sweetest baby in the world. She is so happy to see me. And pretty much anyone, really. She makes eye contact and gets this big goofy toothless grin. I brought up the jumper the other day ago and she LOVES it. She bounces around and spins the toys. She is growing so fast and I feel like I barely get to spend any time with her, which makes me sad.
Ramona turned three and this has been a great time. Turning three was fun. It was the first birthday that she really understood what was going on. Halloween has been the same. She actually gets it which is really fun. We've gone trick or treating twice now. Once at the zoo, and once at our church's trunk or treat. Tomorrow we're trick or treating in Oak Harbor. It should be fun.
Ruby is just the sweetest baby in the world. She is so happy to see me. And pretty much anyone, really. She makes eye contact and gets this big goofy toothless grin. I brought up the jumper the other day ago and she LOVES it. She bounces around and spins the toys. She is growing so fast and I feel like I barely get to spend any time with her, which makes me sad.
Ramona turned three and this has been a great time. Turning three was fun. It was the first birthday that she really understood what was going on. Halloween has been the same. She actually gets it which is really fun. We've gone trick or treating twice now. Once at the zoo, and once at our church's trunk or treat. Tomorrow we're trick or treating in Oak Harbor. It should be fun.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
I Think About My Husband Too Much
Well, Joe and I have been married for over a year now, which seems weird. It doesn't seem that long ago. I'm still finishing my recaps on weddingbee and I don't feel like an ass about it because it doesn't seem all that long ago. But, we have created another human being in that time, so I guess it should feel different. But adding Ruby to the mix hasn't changed things as drastically as I thought it would. It wasn't half as difficult as I imagined. She fits right in our family in a way that makes it feel funny that she wasn't there before.
Getting married didn't change things either. I mean, it did in a way, but not in a real way. We were already a family, and I don't feel different about that now. I'm still childishly in love with Joe the same way I have been for a long time that feels like my whole life even though I know it isn't. I miss him a lot. I miss him when I'm at work or he's at work. I want to be with him pretty much all the time. I never get tired of him. I do get annoyed by him sometimes. It's not that I never need my space. I just need that space to be adjacent to his space. I enjoy times without him. But the best times are with him. And that is the very childish part of our relationship-the longing to be together. We are messy and silly and spend too much time playing and making each other laugh.
There is a mature part of our relationship as well. We talk about serious things and don't play games with each other's feelings. There's so much trust and little to no jealousy. We want to help each other and support each other and do things we don't really want to in order to make the other's life a little bit happier. We sacrifice and reflect and apologize.
We work together. We are a team.
Is it any wonder that I want to be with him all the time then? It's funny because I don't think anyone knows how great we are together. We aren't one of those couples you look at and think, "Jeez, they are so happy, that is such a perfect couple. I want THAT relationship." But we are so lucky and so happy and it's almost more special that no one gets to see how perfectly we work together. We are like the little cogs of a machine that fit together perfectly. It doesn't seem that miraculous but it kind of is.
This is cheesy and sentimental, but that is what anniversaries are for. If every year of marriage is this simple and beautiful, the rest of our lives will be easy. I doubt it will always be this easy, but you know I'd like to think it will be. It's only the first anniversary; I retain the right to remain optimistic.
Getting married didn't change things either. I mean, it did in a way, but not in a real way. We were already a family, and I don't feel different about that now. I'm still childishly in love with Joe the same way I have been for a long time that feels like my whole life even though I know it isn't. I miss him a lot. I miss him when I'm at work or he's at work. I want to be with him pretty much all the time. I never get tired of him. I do get annoyed by him sometimes. It's not that I never need my space. I just need that space to be adjacent to his space. I enjoy times without him. But the best times are with him. And that is the very childish part of our relationship-the longing to be together. We are messy and silly and spend too much time playing and making each other laugh.
There is a mature part of our relationship as well. We talk about serious things and don't play games with each other's feelings. There's so much trust and little to no jealousy. We want to help each other and support each other and do things we don't really want to in order to make the other's life a little bit happier. We sacrifice and reflect and apologize.
We work together. We are a team.
Is it any wonder that I want to be with him all the time then? It's funny because I don't think anyone knows how great we are together. We aren't one of those couples you look at and think, "Jeez, they are so happy, that is such a perfect couple. I want THAT relationship." But we are so lucky and so happy and it's almost more special that no one gets to see how perfectly we work together. We are like the little cogs of a machine that fit together perfectly. It doesn't seem that miraculous but it kind of is.
This is cheesy and sentimental, but that is what anniversaries are for. If every year of marriage is this simple and beautiful, the rest of our lives will be easy. I doubt it will always be this easy, but you know I'd like to think it will be. It's only the first anniversary; I retain the right to remain optimistic.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Ruby
I will do a long post with a birth story and all that when I have the energy to do so, but I feel that I should acknowledge that Ruby Erin was born June 16. She is sweet and tiny and quite possibly the easiest baby ever born. She hardly cries and already sleeps better than Ramona.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Baby Plans
I met with my midwife this morning and came up with my plan for this baby having.
Friday I have an appointment at the hospital to have some monitoring and fluid checks done. If everything looks good, then I can wait until the next week to do another monitoring and fluid check (probably on Tuesday.) I meet with my midwife on Wednesday morning as usual. Then monitor again on Friday. If the baby is not here by that Sunday, then I have an induction.
So, somewhere between now and June 24th, there will be a new baby. I'm trying to be patient. I'm doing okay. I'm just tired and sore. And ready to be tired and sore in a different way.
We're trying to make these last few days with one child "special days" for Ramona. This past weekend we asked her what she wanted to do and we ended up going to the beach again and going to the zoo. She had a lot of fun.
I've been doing a lot of walking. My first class for the summer wraps up next Friday, but I'm trying to get it done early so I don't have to worry as much about when the new baby decides to show up.
Friday I have an appointment at the hospital to have some monitoring and fluid checks done. If everything looks good, then I can wait until the next week to do another monitoring and fluid check (probably on Tuesday.) I meet with my midwife on Wednesday morning as usual. Then monitor again on Friday. If the baby is not here by that Sunday, then I have an induction.
So, somewhere between now and June 24th, there will be a new baby. I'm trying to be patient. I'm doing okay. I'm just tired and sore. And ready to be tired and sore in a different way.
We're trying to make these last few days with one child "special days" for Ramona. This past weekend we asked her what she wanted to do and we ended up going to the beach again and going to the zoo. She had a lot of fun.
I've been doing a lot of walking. My first class for the summer wraps up next Friday, but I'm trying to get it done early so I don't have to worry as much about when the new baby decides to show up.
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