One Crap Week

Well this has been a rough week. First, Lars is still MIA. BUT, one of my employees saw her at like 5:45 am outside the dorm area. So, she's still kicking, apparently. That is definitely good news.

Second, Ramona and the bedtime deal is absolutely killing me. Last night was the worst night yet. She went to bed early but then woke up roughly 9 million times. That might be an exaggeration. Or not. I don't even know anymore. I was so annoyed. To the point of being pissed off. I was straight up angry about her not sleeping. I told her, "Ramona, everyone else on the planet- not even every person, every living being just goes to sleep when they're tired. But you. You cry. You crawl around half asleep and run into walls and then cry about it. You stand up in your crib and cry about it. Stop crying about it! You're tired- go to sleep! That's how it works!" She did not listen. She cried, sleep crawling all over the place until she would run into the wall or the bars of the crib and then cry. Then I would have to put her back to sleep all over again. I'm pretty sure I'm going crazy. I am probably going to kill myself if tonight is anything like last night. I can not do this forever. I'm considering keeping Ramona an only child based solely on this sleep issue. I do not want to do this again. It's that bad.

On top of that is just my usual cyclical being bummed. I've been pretty good since Ramona was born. I've been happy that she exists and it's helped keep the usual malaise that hits me every four to six months at bay. But it's back this week and it's the worst it's been since before I was pregnant. I think the missing Lars is contributing to it and the lack of sleep isn't helping either. I'm in a funk and I need it to end.

I'm hoping that the weekend will cheer me up a bit. Joe's parents are coming out to visit from Saturday to Tuesday. It will be nice to have Mony spend some time with her grandparents and I get along with Joe's parents pretty well, so I'm looking forward to seeing them. Also, his mom is pretty excited about doing some babysitting so I'm hoping Joe and I can slip away together for a little while and at least get dinner (although dinner, a movie, and shopping are secretly on my agenda if we find the time.)

Well, this whole post is just a bummer. Sorry. Here's a video of Ramona doing one of her favorite tricks to cheer this up a bit. I should edit the music to fade out at the end instead of abruptly ending, but I'm too lazy. Also, I might edit this further and add more awesome Ramona tricks to it in the future so I don't want to mess with the music too much. Anyway, she thinks this is hilarious. She really enjoys being tossed around and this kind of rough housing type stuff right now.