Man, I do not envy Joe. Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday night I will be at my conference and Joe is going to have to get Ramona asleep and get her to stay asleep. I'm hoping through some miracle that she sleeps easily and through the night for Joe, but since that hasn't really happened her entire life, I'm not betting on it. I am the one that gets up with Ramona at night and I nurse her to sleep, so it's going to be a rough time for Joe and his non-lactating self.
She is such a terrible sleeper, and I often wonder if it's partially my fault. First, there's the sleeping in the swing thing. Then, I let her sleep in bed with me all the time. She really almost never sleeps in her crib anymore. It's used more as a play place than anything else. So I feel guilty about it and think that if only I did sleep training or let her cry it out, or at least didn't let her sleep in bed with me, she might be a better sleeper. But then I read Dr Sears, and he says that nursing babies to sleep and expecting them to wake up at night is totally normal, and that babies will sleep better as they get older and there's nothing wrong with them getting up at night. And I think maybe it's ok and I should just enjoy her being little enough to enjoy cuddling with her mommy.
It's one of those parenting things where people are so sharply divided, and they get so crazy about it, that you can't even get honest advice on it. Non cry it out people act like you are a terrible neglectful parent and your child will suffer horrible psychological repercussions if you let your child cry it out or attempt sleep training. Cry it out people act like you're coddling your child and they'll still be sleeping in your bed when they graduate high school if you don't get to it now. What should I do? I really am not sure. I'd prefer she sleep in her own crib and sleep all night. But, honestly, it doesn't really bother me that much when she sleeps in bed with me and gets up a couple of times (more than a couple makes me crazy, but she hasn't had that since she cut her last tooth.) I know I do it this way because I'm lazy and don't like hearing her cry. Is that good or bad? I'm not really sure.
All I know is that it probably isn't good for Joe next week. Poor guy.
Cory should really take this one because I lived with her and her husband when their 18 month old wouldn't stay asleep either. She eventually left him cry it out, but it took a lot for her to get over the neglectful thing. And even then I don't think she ever fully ignored him.
ReplyDeleteI will start by explaining J and I a little. We do not sleep next to each other. I am an insomniac and he snores. I used to sleep in a room next to them so I could still hear Jackson. I was never able to let Jackson cry it out. EVER. I could not do it. I was very weak that way as a mom. Plus being a light sleeper did not help.
ReplyDeleteI eventually had to move my bed to the basement, turn on a box fan to drown out the noise, and let Jason take over. After a few sleepless nights for Jason he started telling me that he wasn't sure if Jackson had woke up in the middle of the night because he hadn't. Oh no! So maybe Jackson was getting up but Jason slept too hard to hear him?? So J wasn't there for our son when he needed him! I felt really awful about that at first but then it made me think...since the dawn of the human race there have been millions of times that mothers accidentally let there babies cry it out. Like they were so tired they slept through the crying a few times. It only took a few weeks of J taking over to get Jackson to sleep through the night. J would still check on him but he would make him cry for a loOOong time first. And then other times he just didn't wake up at all to check on him.
9uh explained that Joe works nights so I know what J and I did wont work for you. But maybe you could go in a room farther away and turn on a fan so drown out outside noises?
Maybe it's time to "accidentally" sleep through the night yourself?
It's so hard. I really feel for you. I wish I had better advise.