I was going to write something else, but when I was starting to write this, Ramona crawled over and had a poopy diaper. So I went to change it and sang her one of my brilliant original creations. It's called, "Stinky Butt." Lyrics as follows:
Has a stinky stinky stinky butt
She's a pooper
And she smells nasty
Stinky Stinky Stinky Stinky butt
Brilliant, eh? I have a few classics that I have sung to Ramona for a long time and they are all pretty much the same. They have a familiar beat and ridiculous lyrics. Such as...
Ramona has got a tummy drum
Mommy has got a- TUMMY DRUM!
We've done that one since she was a newborn. I (surprise!) use our tummies as drums during the song. She finds it quite hilarious. Another classic is:
I've got a little bitty
And of course the biggest one (and probably the reason Lars ran away) is this hit:
If I had
Just one wish
It would be for my Ramona Fish
If I had
It would be for her Daddy Fish
If I had
A wish after that
It would be for our Danzig Cat
And if my wishes
Went that far
I guess I'd have to wish for Lars
I'm guessing Lars was mad that she was the last wish and that's why she ran away. In my defense, she would have higher billing if she hadn't peed on my stuff all the time.
I also do songs based on other songs. The biggest hit in that regard is probably, "Don't Bite your Mommy" which is based on "Don't Bite your Friends" from Yo Gabba Gabba! Joe's mom commented that she looked hypnotized when I would sing it during their visit.
I think the last major one is probably the one based on the Spider Man song:
Does whatever a baby fish does
Is she a baby?
Yes she is!
Is she a fish?
Not so much!
Look Out! Here comes the baby fish!
Joe and I always talk about how we need to start a band together. Our first idea for a band was to be called Especially Heinous and all our songs would be about Law & Order SVU. I actually wrote a couple of songs for that, which were mostly about how hot I think Stabler is. Our other plan was for me to start an indie girl type thing, where I would play acoustic guitar and sing slightly off-key while Joe played something stupid (possibly an empty coffee can with some beans in it that he could drum or shake). This plan was mostly to make a ton of money in advertising by selling my songs for commercials since that kind of music seems so popular for that. Neither of us actually like that kind of thing, but the people at Kindle don't know that.
However, based on the positive reinforcement I've received from Ramona, I'm thinking my true calling may be children's music. There probably isn't as much money, but I might be able to guest on Blue's Clues or Sesame Street. And I can't be any worse than the Fresh Beat Band.