So, my doctor's office has a midwife who does all the maternity care. My first appointment, I just met with the nurse practitioner who usually does my gyno type stuff (pap smears, check ups, prescriptions). Today was my first appointment meeting the midwife.
She was really nice, which was a relief. I was not a huge fan of the doctor I had with Ramona, but I didn't have much of a choice because he was pretty much the only doctor in a 90 mile radius of our little shack in the desert. But this time, it seems like I have someone nice who is on my side. We talked about a lot of stuff, but I didn't get too much into the detail of how the actual birth process will take place (mostly because I still have awhile before I have to worry about that.) My next appointment is early January, and my next ultrasound will be at 22 weeks. Hopefully we will find out if we are expecting another mini-Meggie or our first junior Joe at that time.
The idea of having two kids is pretty crazy. We were playing with Ramona tonight, and I mentioned that next Christmas we'll have two kids. Joe gave me a weird look. I guess it is pretty hard to imagine it at this time. It seems like a lot of people are worried about their capacity to love more than one child when they're pregnant with their second. I'm not worried about that at all. I mean, I love Ramona more than anyone else in the world, and I love Joe more than anyone else in the world, and I love my mom more than anyone else in the world. You know what I mean? I have a lot of love for a lot of people, so I'm not worried that my love is a finite source that is running low. I do have worries, though.
My biggest worry is being a good mom with two kids. Well, not even a good mom, just not a crappy mom. I know all around I won't be a crappy mom, but I'm pretty sure I will be for the first few months at least. See, for the most part, I'm a pretty patient and loving mom. I don't yell a lot; I remain calm for the most part. But the one time I am pretty much guaranteed to be crazy and angry is when I am sleep deprived. When Ramona wakes up in the middle of the night and starts whining, I have been known to yell, "JUST SLEEP! Go to sleep!" (*Note*- this is a very ineffective technique to get your child to sleep.) I just lose it. And when Ramona was a newborn, I'm pretty sure I was half crazy the entire time because I barely slept. I'm positive I will be half crazy with this baby as well, unless it sleeps through the night starting the day it is born. And that's ok, I knew I was signing up for that when I decided to have another kid. But I just don't know how I'm going to function as that half crazy lady while also being a decent parent to a toddler.
So far, that's my biggest concern about being a mom of two. I'm sure I'll come up with other worries as time goes on.
Oh, and cute side story that is totally unrelated to anything else- today Joe asked Ramona whether she wanted a baby brother or a baby sister. She said, "A baby stitster! And popcorn."