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Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Jeez!

Another tooth for this kid. That makes six total. She has four on bottom and two on top and I think two more top ones will be popping out soon. She also stood independently for a good ten seconds tonight which surprised me, and I think it surprised her as well. She just kind of looked at me like, "Whoa, how am I doing this? Sweet!" and then landed on her butt. I couldn't get a repeat performance, but I'm sure she'll be trying it more and more over the next few weeks.

Last night I talked to my friend Lindsey on the phone for the first time in awhile. It was really awesome to hear from her, but it also kind of put me in a bummed out mood for the day. Last year she bought a house and I had a baby and I still haven't seen her house and she still hasn't seen my baby. I wish I could see people I care about more often. I still consider her one of my best friends, and I feel pretty crappy that she's never seen my eight month old kid. It just sucks because we're so far away, and since she's not in Ohio anymore it's hard to see her even when we're home visiting. But she did mention possibly coming out Labor Day weekend which would be awesome. As much as I hope we'll have moved home before then, I don't think it's going to happen. So the visit would definitely be a bright spot. I could probably book us a night in Vegas if she visits, too, so I could step out of Mommy mode and have some grown up fun for the first time in forever. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this can happen.

As much fun as I had last weekend, I've been kind of bummed the past couple of days. I don't know what it is. I just feel like I have big dreams right now and there's nothing I can do to make them come true. It's really frustrating for me to really try and have nothing come out of it. And as much as I remind myself to count my blessings and live in the moment, I can't help but think of things I want and can't have right now. I feel guilty that our families are missing out on Ramona growing and learning. I feel guilty that Ramona doesn't have any other babies to play with and that she can't play outside. I want to change things but it's not happening. I feel like I have no control over my life right now and it's irritating and depressing. I really need to grow up and quit whining, and I usually do, but I have my down days and today is one of them. So, boo hoo, you get to read my belly aching.

Cheer up time- how cute are they? And how lucky am I that they love me so much? It's hard to stay sad when I see that smile.

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